🚨 D.C.: The Next Domino, and We’re the Punching Bag
🔥 Buckle up, folks.
If you’ve been following Soapbox Tonight or reading the Substack — and yes, if you haven’t, congratulations, you’re about to get schooled 👀 — you already know I’ve been ringing the alarm like a fire drill in a fireworks factory.
The Democratic Socialists are stacking local offices like they’re playing political Jenga:
Small towns ✅
Midsize metros ✅
Big cities… wait for it… New York City ✅
And now? Drumroll, please… 🥁
Washington, D.C. is officially in their crosshairs.
A self-proclaimed democratic socialist is running for mayor of the nation’s capital.
Not a ceremonial gig.
Not a cute little council seat.
The big chair — the one that actually runs the city where Congress sits, federal agencies operate, and journalists breathe in and out like they’re on autopilot. 📰
This is not random.
This is not democracy “doing its thing.”
This is strategy, folks. A plan quietly brewing for years:
1️⃣ Take low-turnout areas
2️⃣ Build a local machine
3️⃣ Move to high-profile cities
4️⃣ Rinse & repeat
5️⃣ Voilà: model socialist municipalities ✨
New York? Already taken.
Next stop? D.C.
It’s like watching a political Netflix series, except the plotline is terrifying and the villain has a really good PR team.
⚠️ Why you should care
A socialist mayor in D.C. wouldn’t just tinker with trash trucks and potholes.
Oh no. She’d affect:
National policy 🏛️
Media narratives 🗞️
Federal-local interactions 🏢
Every federal agency, every lobbyist, every reporter — under the same mayoral umbrella.
It’s like giving the Monopoly banker a jetpack. 🚀
And here’s the kicker:
Some people shrug and say:
“Well, surely D.C. won’t actually elect a socialist mayor…”
Yeah. That worked out so well in New York, didn’t it? 🤦♂️
🛡️ Your mission, should you choose to accept it
I don’t care if you lean left, right, or somewhere in the middle sipping your politically correct latte ☕.
The point is:
if you don’t want a socialist running the capital, now is the time to get off the couch.
✅ Volunteer
✅ Door-knock
✅ Phone-bank
✅ Share info with friends in D.C.
✅ Tell your Uber driver
✅ Heck, even tell your dog 🐶
The socialists? They play for keeps.
Their messaging is polished. Their machinery is humming.
Unless voters wake up, D.C. will fall the same way New York did:
quietly, slowly… then all at once 💥
This isn’t fearmongering.
It’s math, momentum, and bad decisions on our part if we don’t act.
So get your boots on, folks.
Get into the arena. 🥊
The socialists may have the strategy,
but we’ve got something even better: a conscience…
and a slightly sarcastic sense of humor to keep us sane while the world burns 🔥😎
🛠️ Ultra Extreme Absurdist Pocket Fob Edition: D.C. Defense Toolkit 🚨
Purpose: Keep the socialist dominoes from toppling D.C., maintain sanity, and look absurdly prepared doing it.
1️⃣ Wake Up, Don’t Shrug 🛌
Alarm bells: D.C. doesn’t fix itself.
Optional: Dramatic eye-roll for effect. 🙄
2️⃣ Volunteer Like Your Mother’s Watching 🙋♂️🙋♀️
Door-knock, phone-bank, event-hustle.
Extra points if you wear a cape. 🦸
3️⃣ Spread the Word 📢
Friends, coworkers, Uber drivers, your cat 🐱… everyone counts.
Whisper it in line at Starbucks for maximum effect. ☕
4️⃣ Know the Playbook 📚
Small towns → midsize → big cities → D.C.
Don’t act surprised. Pretend you’re in a suspense movie. 🎬
5️⃣ Laugh at the Absurdity 😂
Humor = sanity armor.
Smirk generously; it confuses enemies. 😏
6️⃣ Track the Dominoes 🁢
NYC ✔️ D.C. ✔️ Next? Who knows.
Keep a tiny checklist in your fob. ✔️✔️
7️⃣ Stay Sarcastic, Stay Alive 😎
Roll your eyes strategically.
Sarcasm is your secret weapon in meetings, debates, and casual conversations. 🗡️
8️⃣ Get Boots Dirty, Not Hands Clean 👢
Action > keyboard outrage.
Bonus if you actually stomp in puddles for effect. 🌧️
9️⃣ Observe the Chaos, Note the Math ➗
Socialists play for keeps. You must too.
Memorize ratios: action ÷ apathy = survival. 🧮
🔟 Deploy the Conscience 💡
Moral outrage + humor + reason = ultimate weapon.
May be combined with coffee for sustained operations ☕
Optional Absurdist Gadgets 🧩
Tiny bell: Ring once for each socialist victory avoided 🔔
Foldable monocle: Sarcasm appreciation mode 🤓
Mini coffee flask: For emergency irony boosts ☕
Keychain flashlight: Illuminate the absurdity of bad politics 🔦
💥 Mission Statement: Clip this fob, keep it in your pocket, and check it twice. Every action, every smirk, every sarcastic quip counts. The socialists play for keeps — but now, so do we.