🦺 Reporter Survival Guide – London Protests Edition

(SoapboxTonight™ Official Pocket Fob / Ultra-Extreme Edition)

1️⃣ Full-Page “Desk Reference”

Gear:

• 🌂 Umbrella → Rain, debris, sarcasm

• 🦺 High-vis vest → Instant journalist cred

• 👒 Hat → Optional, mandatory style points

• 🍌 Banana → Morale & snack, dual-use

Legal / Access:

• Section 14 awareness ✅

• ID & accreditation (optional, police-friendly)

• Lawyer on speed dial 📞 (even if imaginary)

Tech:

• Fully charged phone 🔋

• Camera & backup storage 📸

• Phone case → protects camera & ego

Behavior:

• Calm under chaos 😏

• Document EVERYTHING 📓

• Ignore random accusations (“very haram”)

Optional Extras:

• 🕶 Sunglasses for style or anonymity

• 🎭 Humor quota: 42 sarcastic comments/day

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2️⃣ Pocket Fob-Size (Wallet-Friendly / Foldable)

Gear: 🌂 🦺 🍌
Legal: Section 14? ✅ Lawyer? 📞
Tech: Phone 🔋, Camera 📷
Behavior: Calm 😏, Document 📓, Sarcasm 😎
Optional: Sunglasses 🕶, Meme Generator 🎨

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3️⃣ Ultra-Extreme Pocket Checklist (Palm-Sized / Minimalist)

• 🌂 Umbrella

• 🦺 Vest

• 🍌 Banana

• 📞 Lawyer (maybe)

• 😏 Sarcasm

“Everything else is optional. Humor is mandatory.”