🦃 Soapbox Tonight™ Episode 9: Thanksgiving Chaos, Murderous Dogs, and D.C.’s Next Political Domino
Companion Notes & Survival Guide for the Absurd Week of November 2025
🎉 Thanksgiving 2025: Mashed Potatoes, Snow, and Cosmic “Gotcha”
You know the scene: mashed potatoes scraped, relatives stuffed, and a collective sigh of finally…peace.
But if you tried to travel this Thanksgiving, the universe had other plans:
❄ Snowstorms everywhere — the Midwest got slammed, especially around the Great Lakes and hubs like Chicago O’Hare. One day, more than 8 inches of snow, the biggest November snowfall on record.
✈ Flights grounded — thousands canceled, delays stretching hours into days. Travelers trapped in concourses or on icy tarmacs. The gravy? Frozen regret.
🛣 Roads became skating rinks — pile-ups, cars sliding off ramps, interstates turned into survival courses.
💖 The miracle: most of us still made it to our turkey, tofu-turkey, or whatever feast you love. Somehow, absurdity feels wonderful when survival wins.
🦸 Parades survived too — no childhood icons stabbed this year, thank goodness.
So whether you were slipping on icy off-ramps, wandering airport hallways, or laughing at a sibling for just ten more minutes — congratulations. You survived. 🏆
🐶 Segment 1 — Murder, Dogs, and the Pop-Culture Mind
You read that YouTube comment? Buckle up:
Car accident = murder… a year later.
Robbery = instant murder.
Dog = homicidal companion. 🐕💀
Reality check: murder = human intent.
Accidents ≠ murder.
Dogs, cats, llamas ≠ murder.
Not every theft = homicide.
🎭 Pop culture vs. reality:
Drama > logic. Shock > reason. Emotional virality > truth.
🧐 Philosophy checkpoint:
Aristotle: Know your categories.
Aquinas: Intent and responsibility matter.
Zen / Spinoza: Observe, don’t get swept by illusion.
💡 Takeaway: In the wilds of the internet, thinking before believing is a radical act.
🏛 Segment 2 — The Next Domino: D.C. Politics
The democratic socialist playbook isn’t hiding anymore:
Low-turnout areas → careful political machinery → big-city “model socialist municipalities.”
NYC? Already a case study.
Washington, D.C.? Next.
⚠ Why this matters:
Mayor of D.C. = ripples through federal agencies, national media, think tanks, and congressional staff.
Local control, national impact.
🦶 Action items:
Volunteer.
Door-knock.
Phone-bank.
Share info with D.C. residents.
Pay attention. Now.
Because shrugging? We saw what happened with New York. Don’t let history repeat.
📰 Headline Roundup Highlights
1️⃣ China issues first batch of streamlined rare-earth export licenses
💡 Rare earths = essential for smartphones, EVs, tech. China still holds a giant chip over global tech.
2️⃣ Trump administration halts asylum decisions, pauses Afghan visas
🚨 A response to D.C. shooting — immigration bureaucracy hits pause.
3️⃣ Elon Musk: Optimus robots will build themselves
🤖 Self-replicating factories. Industrial sci-fi or nightmare fuel? You decide.
📋 Ultra Extreme Absurdist Pocket Fob Edition Checklist
🛷 Thanksgiving Travel Apocalypse
❄ Survived sliding on an icy off-ramp?
✈ Trapped in concourse/tarmac limbo?
🥳 Parades survived without stabbing? Check.
🐶 Murderous Dogs & Viral Philosophy
Confirm Fido is not legally culpable.
Check that car accidents remain… accidents.
🙃 “Everything is murder” = only on social media.
⚖️ Law & Order Reality Check
Aristotle: ✅ Categories matter.
Aquinas: ✅ Intent matters.
Zen / Spinoza: ✅ Observe reality, ignore illusions.
🏛 Political Dominos: D.C. Edition
Identify next “socialist domino.”
Check voter turnout; low = high risk.
Volunteer, door-knock, phone-bank, share info.
Remember: D.C. mayor = national ripple effect.
🤖 Headline Absurdities to Track
China rare-earth licenses: global tech tension?
Afghan visa pause: bureaucracy strikes.
Self-replicating robots: industrial sci-fi or nightmare fuel?
💡 Final Pocket Fob Notes
🕵️ Observe chaos, survive absurdity.
Reality > virality. Always.
😂 Too insane? Laugh. File under “human experience.” Move on.
💥 TL;DR:
From snowstorms to social media absurdity to political strategy, the world refuses to be boring. Survive it. Think about it. Laugh at it. And maybe, just maybe, act where it matters.